Train to My Heart
by MissAnnBlack
Summary: Set in 1918, Jasper and Alice start a romance while on the train across Texas. When the train gets in an accident will it tear them apart or pull them together?
1. Chapter 1

"Dang blast it! It's too fucking hot to be out here riding. Why couldn't Bandit Jack rob the bank when it was cooler?" I heard Chris say, yet again. I swear if I had to hear him whine about the heat one more time, I would shot him with my own gun. Of course, then I would have to arrest myself and throw myself in jail, but I really think it would be worth it.

"Chris, if you don't shut it, I swear to all that's holy I will put a bullet in your rear end," I said to him. I didn't care if he was the town sheriff. He was a fat tub of lard, if you asked me. Most of the time I could get along with anyone, but the fact of the matter was it was hot and I was frustrated.

We had been tracking Jack for a week. That was another skill Sheriff Chris had yet to master. Hell he had yet to figure out what tracking even was. Jack was one of the best bank robbers in Texas. I had followed him all the way to Texas City, where he successfully robbed their bank. I had the feeling he had already gotten on the train again. He had the habit of robbing a bank and sneaking on the next train to anywhere. So long as they had a bank, he didn't seem to care where he went.

"Mr. Whitlock, don't you think we could stop and rest our horses again?" I inwardly groaned at him.

"Sheriff, we've only been tracking Jack for two hours now. They don't need to be watered yet. Why don't you head back to town? I can track him myself." Sheriff Chris turned his horse around and left me alone to track. He left so fast it seemed like he was only waiting for me to say the words so he could get his fat ass back behind that desk. Lazy bastard.

This is how I preferred it; being alone. Jasper Whitlock didn't need help. I just needed the open air and my horse. They had tried to put me with a partner but I refused. For some reason I couldn't describe, they listened. I guess after they gave me my first and only partner when I first joined the Marshalls, and said partner almost got himself killed trying to help me, they decided Jasper Whitlock was better off alone.

My horse was the only companion I needed, to tell the truth. I didn't need anyone's help finding Jack or any other criminal. I was a U.S. Marshall. I didn't need some sheriff, who didn't know how to point his gun, to help me.

I had spent my whole life in Texas. I was born and raised here. Some say I was born with my rifle in one hand and horse reigns in the other. Those two things were my life; my horse and my job. That's all I have ever needed. My papa used to tell me "As long as a man had his horse, he was set for life." Well, that's how I had spent my life.

Of course, Mama had a different view point. "Jasper," she would tell me, "you need to find you a woman. You're 28 years old. It just ain't right that you don't have a woman. You need a woman in your life."

"Mama," I would tell her, "What do I need a woman for? I don't spend much time at home anyways. She would be home alone all the time and I would just be travelling around Texas, worrying about her. There's no point, Mama. The only woman I need in my life is you, Mama. I don't have the time for any other woman, especially a wife." I shuddered at the thought of a wife.

I followed the tracks of Jack for another five hours with only my thoughts as company. When it was dark I decided I would make camp. I had followed Jack for twenty miles.

I built a small fire to keep me warm during the long night. Then, I took my pouch off my horses back and unrolled it. I rolled out my sleeping bag on the ground next to the fire. When everything was set I got out the bread I had packed and sat down on my sleeping bag.

These were the times where I did wish I had someone with me; the only times I wished that. Being alone made for a very lonely night. It wasn't that I missed having a woman under me. I could stop by any brothel and I could have sex with them. I missed talking to people. I missed just having someone there; someone who could help take shifts watching our backs. I missed having….company.

I don't know. Maybe I just needed to tell my boss that I should have a partner. The only problem is having to train them to stay the hell out of my way. I laughed at that thought; having some young shithead who would probably have to learn how to track and shit. Yeah, that's out of the question.

After I was done eating, I laid back in my sleeping bag with my rifle by my side. Never did I sleep without my rifle. Like I said before, I was born from my mother with a rifle in my hand.

About midway through the night, I woke up cold. So, I added a little more wood to my fire. I didn't want it to get too big and attract people. That would be a bad thing. As I was quietly adding more wood, I heard a twig snap to the east. I shot up with my rifle and got ready to shoot. I watched with an eagle's eye to see who would dare come up on Jasper Whitlock in the middle of the night. Everyone in Texas knew that you don't sneak up on Jasper Whitlock.

"Marshall, don't shoot me. It's Jonathon Dickson from town." I heard from a distance. The kid was smart. I didn't lower my rifle though. You never could tell when you were being set up. A few minutes later, a short blonde haired boy I remembered from town walked toward me. The kid couldn't be more than 18 years old. "Sir, I promise you, I am alone. You can lower your weapon."

I slowly lowered my rifle as I said, "Son, you got some nerve coming out here in the middle of the night."

"Yes, sir. Well, that's why I called out to you, sir. I didn't exactly want to be shot." I could tell he was still nervous. The boy was sweating more than a pig in the Texas summer sun, and he was wringing his hands.

"What's brought you out here, then?" I wanted to get this over with. I needed to get back sleep. I had a long hard day of tracking ahead of me tomorrow.

"Sir, a telegram was received for you at the Telegram Office. It was marked urgent. So, I was sent out here to deliver it. Seeing as how I was the only one brave enough to come."

"Well, where is it?" I asked as he reached into the pocket of his britches and pulled out a piece of paper. He handed it to me. It was from the Marshall's Office. That alone made me nervous. Nothing good ever came from the office when you were on a mission. My heart stopped as I read the message.

_Marshall Jasper Whitlock_

_Your mother fell sick Tuesday-(STOP)- Things are not looking good for her –(STOP)- Marshall Terrell will be there to relieve you at noon –(STOP)- Go home –(STOP)- _

_Marshalls Office_

My heart stopped. I couldn't believe what I was reading. Mama was sick? How? Why didn't they tell me earlier? It's Friday. Which means that they hadn't told me for three days.

"Alright, kid. Thanks for coming out here. Go one back, now," I said. Internally, I was about to lose my mind with worry for the most important person in my life.

"Is there anything I should write back, Sir?"

"No, just go." When he left, I stood up and paced. I had a lot to think about and plan. Should I all the way to Amarillo or take the train? Train, because then I can still be riding at night. If I were to ride Lightening, my horse, all the way there it would take longer because I would have to stop at night. I would still have to ride up to Houston but that wasn't hard or long at all. I could be in Houston in two days time.

What was wrong with Mama? Did she have the Spanish Influenza that was going around? God, I hope not. I haven't heard of anyone surviving that yet. I don't know what I would do if my Mama died. I was in no way a "Mama's boy" but I love my Mama more than anything. I couldn't explain it, but she was everything to me. She took care of me. She gave me everything she could.

When Father was fighting the Great War, Mama did everything she could to keep us going. She was the one out there working the farm, tilling the land, while Father was out killing others for our freedom. She would spend all day tilling the land, feeding animals. Then she would come in a cook and clean the house.

I would hear her crying herself to sleep every night, when I was home. I didn't think it was from pain, although it could have been. I think it was more from missing Father. I know I missed him. I know it was especially hard for her to be away from him, having to do all that work. A woman should never have to till the land or feed the animals. A woman's hands should never have to have calluses. Their hands should be smooth from only every doing housework. My mama though would have calluses upon calluses. Her back would hurt her so bad she could hardly stand.

I would have loved to help her and keep her from having to take care of man's work but during the Great War I was hardly ever home. I was already in the Marshalls during the Great War and couldn't help her out as much as I would have liked. I was busy chasing criminals around Texas then too; just like I might be doing when she died.

I don't want to think about what could have happened to her while I was away on Marshal business. Bad things could and would happen to women who were alone at night. At any time I could have come home to her dead body. The only way I got through that was never thinking about it. It was hard to not think about it now. Death could very well be knocking at her door.

Who would yell at me about settling down with a woman and giving her grandbabies if Mama died? Who would tell me that I needed to bathe more often and shit if she wasn't around? Who would be there when I actually did settle down? Who would help my wife when she had children?

I worried all through the rest of the night. I worried up until Terrell got in town at noon. I stood outside the saloon watching as he rode up to me. He was a tall, skinny man with blonde hair and blue eyes. His eyes always had a hard glint in them. He was an older gentleman who had lost his wife and kids during the Civil War when the Yankees had burned down their home. He had been out fighting when his family died and still blamed himself. "Marshall," he said in greeting, nodding his head in my direction.

"Terrell. Come on in here and I'll update you on Bandit Jack." We walked in the saloon and up to the bar. We sat on the bar stools and asked the bar keep to get us a beer. "I tracked Jack over to Shiney's Ridge. He's probably already on his way to the next town by train. There's not much you can do."

"Don't worry about Jack, Jasper. I'll take care of him. You go home and take care of your mama," he said slapping me on the back.

We talked for a while over a beer. Then, I walked out to Lightening and left for Houston. Along the way I thought about Terrell's story. How would I feel if I lost my family? Personally, I think he just needs to let it go. It's been a long time since the Civil War and he needs to just get past it. I would never let a woman or kid get to me so bad that I would mourn them this long. Hell, it's been about forty years since that war ended. Let it go.

No woman in a skirt would get to me that bad. I would die first. I will never marry. I'm the kind of man who is happy being alone. No one is going to get to me so bad that I would mourn for decades over them. Maybe he just needs to go to the local brothel and let Madame Jennie sooth him. I laughed at that thought.

Exactly two days later, I arrived in Houston. I don't know why but I had this strange feeling that my life was about to change. I just hoped that my mama wasn't about to die.


	2. Chapter 2

"Mama, guess what!" I said bouncing excitedly into our home. I spotted my target in the kitchen.

"What, dear?" she asked me without turning around from the stove where she was cooking our dinner.

"You will never guess who asked if I would mind if he came calling on me one day." I giggled with excitement. I had waited for this day for a long time. I had had a crush on this man for seven years; ever since his family moved here to Pasadena, Texas.

"Judging by your reaction, I'd have to say Mister Matthew Eckstrom." I jumped up and down giggling, clapping my hands, and nodding my head. She laughed at me. She wiped her hands on her apron and sat at the table in the kitchen. "Well, sit down. I want to hear all about this. How did you manage to get Matthew Eckstrom to ask to come calling?"

I loved this about my mother. It didn't matter what she was doing, if I had something I needed to talk about, she would stop what she was doing, not matter what, and listen to me. She was the same way with my brother, Emmett. Emmett had always wanted to be like our father, though, and didn't seem to have much time left for myself or our mother anymore.

"Well, you're aware that Emmett took me into town today for new shoes." She nodded her head and motioned for me to continue. "Well, we were walking into the General Store and Matthew stopped me. We talked for a while and he said that he would like to come calling on me one day and asked me if that would be alright. I said that it would be. He told me he would come by after church this Sunday afternoon."

That Sunday, Matthew indeed did come by. He was the perfect gentleman. We sat by the fire and just talked for most of that afternoon. It was wonderful. Then, he had dinner with my family. Father hadn't been very excited about my having a gentleman caller, and neither had my very protective brother, for that matter, but both Emmett and Father had loved Matthew from that first day.

He unfortunately didn't stay as sweet as he was that first time he came calling. He began hitting me the first time we went out in town together. It was July 4th. There was always a big dance and festival for the birthday of our country in the center of town.

I got all dressed up for it and was very excited. Matthew was finally, after two months, going to take me into town so the whole town could see that we were together.

Emmett, Father, and Mama drove me to the festival as it wouldn't have been right for Matthew to take me. As we drove, Emmett turned to me and said in his brotherly tone, "Ali, be careful tonight, okay?"

"Emmett, of course I'm going to be careful. What do you think is going to happen? We're going to be in the center of town in front of everyone. It's not like he can push himself on me." I laughed. My brother could be so silly sometimes.

"Alice, it's not that that I'm worried about. If he tries anything, Alice Mae, you tell me. I may like the guy, but that doesn't mean I won't shoot him dead."

"Emmett McCarty, I promise you that I will let you know if Matthew is anything less than a gentleman today. But don't you dare be mean to him either," I told him in my best stern voice. I don't think he bought it.

I was sixteen years old. A woman. And Matthew was the first man to show any real interest in me. It's not that I'm not pretty, because I am. It's just that I have a very intimidating older brother, who is very protective of his beautiful, younger sister. Don't get me wrong. I love my brother, but he can be so frustrating. I don't know exactly what he did to all those other gentlemen in town, but none of them even talked to me. That is until Matthew.

After a short while, we arrived in the center of town. There were banners of red, white, and blue all over the place. I saw tables full of food. Then I saw the person I was looking for. Mr. Matthew Eckstrom. He was standing by the stables against the paddock, looking right at me. He looked so good. I couldn't believe my eyes. He was very sexy. Boy, if Mama could hear my thoughts I wouldn't be able to sit for a week. Ladies weren't allowed to say things like that. So I kept it to myself.

I watched as he walked up to my family's buggy. It was like I was watching this in slow motion. I could see the muscles in his arms flexing as he walked. His thighs pressed against the fabric of his britches. I could see the wind rushing through his hair as he took his hat off. This man was the man from my dreams.

He got to the side of the buggy and stared into my eyes. The smile on his face warmed my heart.

As I looked in his eyes, I could suddenly see the way our life could be. I saw a little blond headed boy following after Matthew. I saw myself standing at the wood stove with my stomach rounded with another baby. I saw Matthew walk up behind me, wrap his arms around me, and whisper sweetly in my ear that he loves me.

I was brought out of my day dreams by a hand on mine. I looked up to see Matthew smirking at me. "Are you ready to get out now?" I realized then that I was in love with this man.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. "Yes," I replied and stood up. He helped me down from the buggy and led me over to the party. I didn't look back at my family. But if I had I might have seen the looks on their faces. I would have seen the smirk on Mama's face and the look of contempt and disgust on Father and Emmett's faces.

"How have you been, Matthew?" I asked with a small smile on my face. I looked up at him waiting for his response.

"I've been good, Miss Alice. I've been waiting on egg shells for this day. I finally get to show the world the sweet, caring, wonderful girl who has allowed me to court her." He looked at me with his crocked grin that he knew I loved so much.

We danced and talked with our friends that had come. I decided to watch the horses after a while. I can only handle crowds like this for so long before I need to be alone in the quiet, and the horses were the perfect remedy. The horses never made very much noise and they were great friends. They always listened and never tried to give advice where it wasn't wanted.

"Having fun?" I heard a voice next to me say. I didn't need to look to know that it was Matthew. I loved his voice. I had memorized that voice many years ago.

"Yes, I am. I just needed to get away for a little while. Sometimes a lot of people make me nervous. I don't like a big crowd like that for long."

"Come take a walk with me then," he said taking my hand. He led me around to the back of the stables. No one was around and we were surrounded by the horses on either side of us.

"Alice, I love you. You know that right?"

"I love you too. What's going on?" I was confused. He looked so nervous. He never looked nervous. Matthew was very confident in who he was and in everything he did. Why would he be nervous around just me?

Just then he got down on one knee. "Alice, I know you're sixteen and I'm twenty five, and that we've only been courting for a few months. But I love you. I know that we would be great together. Will you marry me?" he asked pulling a ring out of his pocket.

"Did you ask Father?" I asked. That was one thing that I always swore had to happen and Father had to agree before I would. I wouldn't marry a man that Father didn't approve of.

"I haven't yet, but you know as well as I do that he loves me. Why would he say no?"

"Matthew, I won't marry you until Father gives us his blessing. I'm sorry." I turned to walk away, but a firm grasp on my arm stopped me.

"Who do you think you are? No one says no to me? I'm Matthew Eckstrom of the New York Eckstrom's. I get whatever the hell I want."

"I'll remind you that I am a lady. Please don't cuss in my presence. Now, please let me go." I pulled on my arm trying to get him to release me. Where was this courage coming from? I was never courageous. I was always the one to run from danger. And right now, at this moment Matthew Eckstrom was dangerous. I could see it in his eyes. He wouldn't bat an eye at forcing me to do what he wanted.

As I was questioning myself, he rose his hand back and slapped me much harder than I had ever been slapped in my life, and my mama can slap hard. If he hadn't had a hold of my arm, I surely would have fallen on the ground. "Say yes," he ordered. "Say yes or I will force you. I will make this whole town believe that we were out here having sex and you're pregnant with my baby," he hissed at me.

Who was this man? This wasn't the man I had fallen in love with. This wasn't the man who had held my hand only ten short minutes ago. This man was crazy. This man was mean spirited. This man was a stranger to me. I didn't know who this was in front of me. He was like a completely different man.

"Matthew, you're scaring me." In truth I was terrified. He only smirked at me. It's like that's what his goal was; to make me scared. That scared me even more. "You're hurting me, Matthew. If you don't stop you're going to make me bruise. Then everyone will know who you truly are. Is that what you want?"

He thought for a moment. Then he finally released me. I breathed a sigh of relief, and rubbed my arm where his hand had been. It hurt so bad and I was sure I would have a bruise there soon. After a moment, to make sure he wouldn't change his mind, I walked backwards toward the festivities.

I found my brother and pulled him aside. "Emmett, I need to go home. Now. Can you take me, please?" I was so scared. What if Matthew changed his mind and pulled me back to that place and this time raped me or killed me? I had to get out of there and fast.

"Ali, slow down and breathe. What happened?" He was starting to get scared. I could see it on his face.

"Alright," I said taking deep breaths. "Emmett, I just want to go home. Please, take me home."

I had to get him calmed down before Matthew thinks I told Emmett about what Matthew had done. Thankfully it worked. "Alright, I'll take you home, but you're telling me why when we get there. Do you hear me?"

I nodded and Emmett walked me toward the horses. All of a sudden, someone grabbed my arm in the same spot Matthew had before. I sucked in a breath so I wouldn't scream out in pain, and turned to find Matthew standing behind me. He had a warning look on his face; silently telling me that I should keep my mouth shut.

As soon as Emmett turned around to see what was wrong though, Matthew's face changed to a smile. "I'm sorry, Emmett. Miss Alice, are you leaving?"

I quickly tried to calm my nerves. He wouldn't do anything with Emmett here would he? He's not that crazy is he? "Yes, Matthew. I need to go home right away. I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye."

"Well, goodbye then, Miss Alice," he said bowing deeply to me. Unfortunately I knew who he truly was and I wasn't fooled by his act anymore. I refused to be swayed by his gentlemanly gestures.

He turned and walked away. Emmett and I continued on our way to our horses.

When we got home, I sat by the fire. I was still trying to calm my nerves, so I picked up Mama's sewing. Maybe the mindless chore would help me keep my mind off what happened.

"Ali, what happened out there today? I've never seen you like that before." Evidentially I was not going to be able to forget about it.

"Emmett, please, let's not talk about it. I just want to forget today ever happened."

"No, Ali. We're going to talk about this. I understand that you don't want to talk about it in front of Mother and Father but you will talk to me. You scared me back there. What happened?"

I took a deep breath. Could I tell him? What would he do if I told him? "Before I tell you, Emmett, you have to promise not to tell anyone about it. You have to promise that you'll stay here and you won't do anything with the knowledge I give you." He took a moment to think about it and then nodded. Truthfully I didn't put much stock in his promise. My brother was a hothead, and the knowledge that Matthew had physically hurt me would set him off faster and hotter than anything else.

"Emmett," I said and took a deep breath to prepare myself for the onslaught of my brother's temper. "Today at the festival, Matthew pulled me aside. We watched the horses for a few minutes and then he asked me to marry him." I paused to look up at my brother. I saw a look that told me he wasn't happy about the proposal. I loved my brother. "The thing is, he hadn't asked Father's permission. You know how much Father's approval means to me. So I said no. That was a mistake."

"What do you mean it was a mistake?" Emmett said furiously, effectively interrupting me.

"I mean, that that was the wrong thing to say to him. He grabbed my arm hard." I held up my arm and put my hand exactly where I could still feel his hand. The finger marks were already starting to bruise. Emmett's eyes landed on my arm and saw what I did. His eyes glazed over with fury. "Then he slapped me," I whispered. My eyes didn't leave the floor but I knew that Emmett just got a lot angrier.

The house was silent for a moment. Then, Emmett said, "Matthew Eckstrom is a dead man." His voice was very controlled as he spoke through his clenched teeth.

"Emmett, don't you dare." I slowly stood as I spoke through my own clenched teeth. "He is a crazy man. He wouldn't bat an eye at shooting a man in the back. He's evil. Please do not go after him."

"Alice Mae McCarty, he is a coward. He laid his hands on my sister. I won't let him take another breath."

"Think about it this way, Emmett. What if you leave to go kill him but he's laying in wait to do the same to me. You would leave me helpless. How would you live with that?"

He had no answer for me. He didn't leave me though. Thankfully I knew the right way to talk to my brother to get him to do what I wanted. I guess that came with growing up the princess of the family. My family had always looked out for me and given me whatever I wanted that they could afford.

For the next week, I couldn't walk outside without Emmett right by my side. I couldn't even go to the outhouse without Emmett. At least he wouldn't go inside with me! Emmett took it upon himself to be my protector. It was just hard to comprehend that the man he was protecting me from was the man I almost agreed to marry. I knew that if he had said he had asked my father's permission, I would have said yes to him in a heart beat. Then I would be stuck with an abusive man for the rest of my life. There would have been nothing anyone could have done.

Every time I would go into town, Matthew was there with another proposal. I would, once again, turn him down. I would see the anger snap into his eyes, but since Emmett was right by my side, Matthew wouldn't do anything but walk away.

One day though, I needed to get away. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to have time by myself. I still don't know how I did it but I some how was able to sneak out of the house to the stable. I saddled a horse and rode out toward town. I decided that I would just take a walk around town, see who was out today. Matthew wasn't one of them. I found it curious that he would wait every other day of the week in town for me, but he wasn't there today.

I didn't think any more about Matthew and his curious behavior. I walked to the General Store and saw some of my friends there. After a few hours of just walking around, I decided to go home. My family was probably in a panic wondering where I was and if I was alright.

When I pulled the horse into our yard, I found it curious that my family, especially Emmett, wasn't running out of the house yelling at me. I started to get worried when they still hadn't appeared by the time I was done taking care of my horse.

I ran to the house and stopped inside the door. I could not believe what was in front of my eyes. My father was laying face down on the floor. Even before I saw the pool of blood I knew he was dead. I saw the shot in his back. I took a moment and cried for the loss I was feeling. He was my father. He meant everything to me and someone had taken him away from me. But where was Emmett and Mama?

I trudged through the house and found my brother laying on the floor by the fireplace in the living room. He had a shot in his thigh and something hanging around his neck. As the tears flowed like rivers of pain down my face, I bent down to read the note that was around Emmett's neck.

_If you ever want to see your mother again you will come to Amarillo and marry me. Don't tell anyone why you're going there, just go or your mother will die like your brother and father. _

So it was Matthew that did this. What he didn't know was that my brother was still breathing. If I hurried I might be able to get to Doctor Cullen in town before he stopped breathing.

I hurriedly packed my satchel with some clothes and hurried back out to my horse, whispering to Emmett on my way, "I love you, Brother. Be strong. I'll be back as soon as I can. Don't die on me."


	3. Chapter 3

I rode my horse all the way to Houston. Before I let my home town, I made sure that Doctor Cullen was on the way to my family's home to care for Emmett. I could only pray that he was able to save my brother.

If only I had been there when Matthew showed up. Why had I been so stupid? Why did I have to leave my family at home to be shot and killed, and in Mama's case, kidnapped? If I had been there, maybe Matthew wouldn't have done what he did? If I had been there, I could have stopped him. I may have had to spend the rest of my life with him, but would that have been so bad if my family was safe?

I got to Houston in record time. I had never ridden my horse so hard in my life. By the time I got there, I was hurting. My corset was really making my ribs hurt. I wish I didn't have to wear this thing, but if I ever wanted a real man to love me, I had to look good, right? Oh, the sacrifices women make to look good for men.

I walked in the train station. In all honesty it wasn't much more than a small building. I walked up to the counter. "One ticket to Amarillo, please, sir," I asked the man behind the counter.

He looked at me a moment. "That'll be $5, ma'am." I took the money out of my purse and gave it to him. He gave me my ticket in return and said "Ma'am, are you alright?"

I realized how I must look. I looked down at my dress and realized how dirty and wrinkled it was from riding so hard. I also thought about how my face looked. I had been crying the whole ride. I must look horrible.

I gave him a forced smile and walked away, holding my ticket and satchel. I decided that I would go sit on the bench outside the building to wait for my train to arrive.

It wasn't long before it got to the station and I was finally able to board. I looked at the train as I boarded. I had never ridden on a train before and was surprised to find that the walls of the train were made of wood. Are they sure this is safe? What happens if we wrecked like that Circus train that wrecked a few weeks ago? A lot of people died in that accident and I would prefer if that didn't happen to me? What would happen to Mama if it did?

Speaking of Mama and my family, I wonder if Dr. Cullen was able to save Emmett? I wonder if my brother is still living. My brother could be the meanest, hardest person to anyone else, but to me he was always sweet, and caring. I always liked to tell him that to others he was like a grizzly bear, but to me he was like a teddy bear. It was true.

I walked straight to my room once I had boarded the train. This was going to be a long trip so they had given me a room where I could wash up, and sleep. It was small but it served its purpose. I quickly stripped down and started washing myself. It felt so good to finally be getting somewhat clean at the least.

I finished up and started getting dressed. I am sixteen years old. I still don't understand why we women have to wear all these undergarments. Why do we need a corset? I understand that it makes us look skinnier, but I'm already skinny. Why do I still have to wear one? All it does is suffocate me. Well, at least now I can show off my breasts. That put a small smile on my face just thinking about it. Up until a few years ago, I wasn't allowed to show anything. Now I can show my breasts and some of my ankle. I chuckled to think of how Mama had a heart attack when that started to become the fashion.

I finished getting dressed, choosing a pale blue dress that everyone told me looked great on me and complemented my eyes. I decided to go to the dining car and write in my journal for a bit. I grabbed it and my pencil and went to find the dinning car. I had to ask someone but it was easy enough to find. As I entered the car, I looked around at the people there.

That's when I first saw him. He had wavy, blonde hair down to his ears. His eye were the most beautiful blue. I couldn't see much about him as he was sitting at a table, but what I could see of him could only be described as sexy. Even his ears were sexy. I couldn't help but stare.

Just as I started chastising myself and trying to look away from this very sexy man, he looked up. His eyes landed on me. Our eyes locked and neither of us could look away. A smile broke across his face. As I looked at him, at his smile, at his eyes, I felt like even though things weren't right for me right now, that maybe they could be. Maybe things would eventually get better for me. Maybe things with Matthew would work themselves out.

I broke out of the trance this man had me in, and walked to an empty table. I couldn't stop thinking about him though. I sat at my table still seeing his smile in my mind.

I opened my journal and began to write.

_July 6, 1918_

_Today has been the worst day of my life. I went to the store in town and when I arrived home, Matthew had beaten me there. My father was dead on the floor. Matthew had hot him in the back. Fucking coward. Then I find Emmett lying on the floor in front of the fireplace. Matthew, again he's a fucking coward, had shot him in the leg. He wasn't dead when I got home, but I'm very scared that he is by now. I'm terribly scared that my dear brother is dead. _

_There was a note around his neck from Matthew. Is there another word for "Fucking Coward"? Anyways, The note said that he had taken my mother to Amarillo and that if I ever wanted to see her again, I needed to go there and marry him. I got it! He's a fucking Asshole! _

_Why is he going through all this trouble just to get me to marry him? He's an ass. Why would I marry him? Why would he kill my family and kidnap my mother and take her to Amarillo? _

_I'm terrified that his ploys will work. I'm scared that I might actually have to marry him to be able to save my mother. What will life be like if I do marry him? I'll be abused every day of my life. _

_Well, I rode all day to get to Houston. I get on the train and come to the dining car to write in my journal. That's when I see him. I can't believe how sexy he is. He's made me think things that I haven't thought in a long time, imagine things that I have never imagined before. The bad part of all of this is that I don't even know his name. This man has me imagining him in bed with me and I don't even know his name. _

_What am I going to do? How am I going to deal with this if he never approaches me? It wouldn't be right if I approached him and I just can't deal with this. I want this man. But I don't even know who he is. _

I stopped writing and looked over at the man I had begun to fall for without knowing him, while I closed my journal. He was looking over a newspaper, completely oblivious to my obsession. Maybe he didn't feel the same way I did. Maybe he hadn't felt the attraction I did.

After a few moments of my staring at him, he got up. I quickly looked away. How horrible it would be if I got caught staring at him? I can't believe how forward I am being. It's not right for me to stare at this man.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and into the eyes I had been daydreaming of since I walked in here.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but notice how beautiful you are. Would you mind if I sat with you?"

For a moment I couldn't speak. I couldn't believe he was here. He was talking to me. "Yes…. Yes please," I stammered. I motioned to an empty chair. He sat and looked at me.

"What's your name?" he asked after he was settled.

"I'm Alice McCarty. What's your name?" My palms were beginning to sweat as I sat there. I was so nervous that he wouldn't like me after all the daydreaming I had done.

"My name is Jasper Whitlock, Ma'am."

"Well it's nice to meet you, Sir. So what do you do for a living?"

I saw a look come across his face. I knew he was going to lie to me but I couldn't understand why he would lie about his job. "I'm a farmer. I was down here selling some cattle. Now I'm on my way back home. To Amarillo."

I took a look at his hands. He had them placed on the table in front of him. They weren't soft but they weren't as rough as they would be if he worked with livestock. I knew two things right then. First he had lied to me like I thought he would. Why, I couldn't understand. What's the point in lying about what he does?

The second thing I knew was that, judging by his hands, he did not work with live stock. His hands weren't rough enough to be hands that mucked stalls all the time. His hands were the hands of someone who rides their horse all the time. I couldn't think of what job that would be right off hand but I knew he was not a rancher.

Half an hour later, we finally felt the train leave the station. I don't understand why we were running so late but at least we were finally moving. We were slowly getting closer to my mother.

After spending the afternoon with Jasper in the dining car, I finally made my way to my room. Mr. Whitlock was so sweet. I decided not to tell him about my family, or Matthew. I don't know why. I couldn't begin to tell you what made me decided not to tell him about my problems. I guess maybe I thought he would run away if he knew about Matthew.

I cried myself to sleep that night worrying about Emmett, Mama, and thinking about Father. I can't believe I was having to go across Texas all by myself. Father should at least be here with me! Why did Matthew have to kill him? Why did he have to take my Daddy away from me? I will never understand Matthew.

The one thing I really can't understand is that if he had to shoot Father and kill him, why did he shoot Emmett and not make sure he was dead? You would think that if he made sure Father was dead, why did he only shoot Emmett in the leg? He had to know that it probably wouldn't kill him. Not many people died from that anymore. He probably hoped that I wouldn't get home in time to save him.

Well he had been wrong about that. He was wrong thinking that I would marry him. I wonder what else he has been and would be wrong about.

Matthew POV

I would get that bitch. She would be my wife. I would own her. She would not deny me. I am Matthew Eckstrom. I get everything, and I mean everything, I want.

I knew her family was holding her back. They were the ones telling her to say no to me. They were keeping her from me. That's why I killed her brother and father. They wouldn't keep her from me anymore. They couldn't control her any longer.

Kidnapping her bitch of a mother wasn't the best idea. I needed a way to get her to Amarillo but now I had to spend the whole time with this whining bitch.

I hated women. They were a mistake in God's design as far as I was concerned. All they did was whine and complain about everything and they never ever listened to what they were told. I hated them.

My mother had never listened to anything my father told her. That's why he constantly had to beat some sense into her. She couldn't' do anything with out being told and then beaten. I couldn't count how many times he had to beat her.

If I could get through life without a woman to do everything for me I would. But I would get Alice. She would be mine.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Hey my lovlies! I just wanted to take a moment to say a few things before you get started reading this chapter. The first being that I'm sorry that this chapter is so short. Second, the last part of this chapter deals with some difficult things. There is a flashback to early on in Matthew's life. I don't think it'll come as a surprise to many people that he was abused. I do not take this kind of thing lightly. While I have never dealt with abuse personally, people in my life have. So it is very near and dear to my heart. If you are dealing with it please know that you have my support and please visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline website at www(dot)ndvh(dot)com. Now...ENJOY!_**

Jasper POV

"Good morning, Miss Alice," I said to my love when I saw her the next morning.

I couldn't believe my eyes when she walked into the dining car yesterday afternoon. How was it that when I just boarded a train to go check on my mother, who could be dying, that I find my love?

You might think it's a bit too soon to say I love her. You may be right about that, but I know what I felt when I saw her and when I touched her shoulder.

As soon as our eyes locked yesterday, I knew she was "the one". She's the one I have never thought I wanted or needed, let alone that I would find her. When our eyes found each other, it was like…. It was like the whole world shifted. I no longer wanted to be alone. I needed to be near her. I needed to know everything there was to know about her.

I sat for a while, at my table. I was fighting an inward battle. Should I go to her? What would I say if I did? No woman had ever meant this much to me, especially without even knowing her. I wondered if she had felt what I had. Was she as intrigued by me as I was of her? Did she feel anything that I had? Was she married? Was she traveling alone?

I finally decided that the only way to answer any of the questions fighting in my head for dominance was to go talk to her. I walked up behind her and touched her shoulder. That's when I felt it. There was an electric shock that ran through my hand at the touch. I couldn't believe it. At first I wasn't sure what it was, but then I realized that it had felt good. It was a good shock. So that must mean that it was because we were meant, right?

We sat in the dining car just talking, most of the day. It was so fun. It didn't make me nervous at all, which only made me more curious.

Since I was a child, I hadn't liked being around people. People made me nervous. I knew one day I would have to tell her why. I would have to explain to her what had happened in my past. Hopefully that day would not have to be today. I had never told anyone that story. I did not want to have to tell anyone, but I'm glad it would be her.

I lied to her when I told her I was a rancher. I think she knew that, but I couldn't tell anyone that I was a Marshall. There were people out there that would love to take a shot at me while I was down. I couldn't let them know who I was or what I was. Not only for my safety anymore but for hers too. That was something else that I would eventually have to tell her. Boy, the needed confessions were just adding up.

After she went to her quarters last night, I stayed up. There was a piano in one of the cars and I decided to play it for a while. Playing the piano always seemed to clam my nerves. And my nerves were racing at the moment.

As I began to play the keys and set the music adrift in the air, the most beautiful image came to my mind. I could see it as if it was happening right in front of me at that moment.

There I was standing in front of a gazebo and dressed in a tuxedo. I was waiting. For what I didn't know until I saw her. She was dressed in a beautiful white gown at the end of the aisle, holding a bouquet of flowers in her hands. She walked toward me, and as she did the vision changed.

I was standing behind her with my arms wrapped around her. I was whispering in her ear. She started to giggle. As she did, two toddlers came running through the doorway to where we were. There was a boy and a girl. They looked like they were twins. They ran to us and gave both Alice and I big hugs, yelling "Mama! Father!" the whole way.

I shook myself out of my memory of the day yesterday, as she touched my hand. "Is something wrong, Mr. Whitlock?"

"Please, call me Jasper. And everything is fine. I was just thinking about something. I'm sorry for my rudeness." I noticed that she still had not removed her hand from mine. I didn't mind a bit.

"Don't worry about it, Jasper," she said with a smile. Her smile could restart a dead man's heart. "Are you excited about stopping in Madisonville today? Finally we'll be able to get off this train for a little while." I led her to a table where we could share breakfast with me.

"I am excited. Would you like to have a picnic lunch with me while we're stopped?" What if she said no?

"I would like that very much. Thank you for the invitation," she said with a shy smile and blush. The way her cheeks reddened set my heart a flight. The blood went straight to a part of my body I quietly wished was inside her.

I calmed myself while we ate our breakfast. After we were done, we continued to sit and talk for awhile. I learned that her full name is Alice Mae McCarty. She loves her mother's apple pie.

The thing that bothered me is that small mention of her mother was all that she would say about her family. Why wouldn't she even tell me how many brothers and sisters she has? Why wouldn't she tell me about her mother and father? When I asked about them she would clam up and stop talking. Tears would come to her eyes and she would turn the questions back to me.

The train stopped in Madisonville and we got off. As we walked past the conductor as he led us off, he handed Alice an envelope. "Miss McCarty, this telegram arrived for you here. It was marked urgent."

"Thank you, Sir," she said as she took the envelope from him.

We sat on the bench outside the train station and she opened the envelope.

**Alice POV**

I sat with Jasper outside the train station trying to figure out who would have sent me a telegram. My hopes rose as I thought of the possibility of it being an update from Dr. Cullen about Emmett.

My hopes plummeted as I took the paper out of the envelope and my eyes read over the ink on the page.

_**URGENT**_

_Miss Alice McCarty_

_I am glad to see that you are on your way to Amarillo -(STOP)- Hurry or your mother dies like your brother and father. -(STOP)-_

The tears threatened to fall. I was terrified of what could happen if this train didn't hurry to Amarillo.

Matthew POV

*Flashback*

"EILENE!" my father yelled from the table, where he and I were sitting. I was only 5 years old. "Where in the sam hell is my dinner?"

My mother came rushing in from the kitchen with a pot in her hands. "Here you go, Henry," she said placing the pot in the middle of the table.

"What is it?" I ventured to ask, trying to steal a glance into the pot. I didn't expect the hard smack across the face that I got in return. The force of the smack sent me and my chair flying backwards onto the floor. As I lay on the floor, trying to get my wits back about me, I looked up in time to see the table coming down toward me. I moved just in time, so that I was not crushed. Unfortunately, I didn't move before the pot of hot stew fell over on my legs.

"What the hell? Can't you teach that boy anything? He doesn't even have any manners. Do I have to do everything around here? I go out. I work all day long in the hot Texas sun. The only thing I expect when I get home is a good hot cooked meal. I expect that the boy will learn how to behave and have manners. Can't you do anything?" I got to my feet and ran to hide in the corner, as my father smack my mother across the face.

Mother tried to run from him, but he was faster. "No! Don't you dare run from me? What gives you the right to think you can run from me? Get back here," he said as he grabbed her wrist and spun her around to him. She pushed herself away from him, but tumbled backward. As she fell, her head hit the mantel of the fireplace.

*End Flashback*

As I stared in the flames of our small fire, I thought back to the day Mother died. I didn't blame my father. It wasn't his fault. She tripped and that wouldn't have happened if she would have just done what was expected of her; what she was told.

I saw a lot in common between my mother and Alice's mother. Neither one knew how to listen. Nether one ever did what they were told.

I got up and walked to where Alice's mother was laying sleeping on the other side of the fire. I grabbed her arm and yanked her to standing. "Time to get up, bitch."

"You could have just asked. Why do you hate me so much? What did I do to you? Why did you kill my husband and son?" the bitch asked me bawling her eyes out.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You just need to do what you're told." I backhanded her across the face and she fell to the ground in tears.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Thanks Mel and Robin for their help on this chapter. I don't know where I would be without you ladies. **_

**_Be sure to follow me on Facebook. www(dot)facebook(dot)com/group(dot)php?gid=128306957212944 You'll get sneak peeks, get to see the banners, and know before anyone else when the chapters will be posted._**

Alice POV

I still couldn't believe that Matthew had sent me that telegram. What did he mean that he could "see that you're on your way to Amarillo"? Was he having me watched? I never would have thought it of him before but after the festival, I was beginning to see that Matthew had two sides. There was the side I had fallen in love with and then there was the true side of him. I never would have thought he was capable of killing, but he had killed my father. It's like he was a completely different person.

Jasper had been wonderful though. When I read that telegram yesterday, I started crying. Jasper just sat next to me for hours, with one arm around my shoulders and the other holding mine. I refused to tell him what was wrong, or what the telegram said. I know it hurt him but I just couldn't tell him. I didn't know exactly why. I mean he had been wonderful to me the last couple of days, but I didn't know what he would do if he found out. He could either stay with me and help me or he could run away. I didn't want either option at the moment. If he helped me, he could be killed to. If he ran, my heart would surely break.

He sat with me on that bench in front of the train station throughout the whole time the train was stopped. I thought that was extra sweet, because I know he had to have hated just sitting there consoling me. I knew there was no way that I could have enjoyed a picnic though and I think he may have known that. I hated that we missed our picnic together.

I couldn't sleep that night. I was too terrified. Did he know something I didn't? Was Emmett dead? I tried to remember that Emmy was alive when I left, but that didn't help me any. Anything could have happened with him in the past few days.

There was a problem though. I couldn't get to Amarillo any faster than the train would take me. Would he kill her before I could get there? Would he get tired of waiting for me and just kill her?

I opened the door to my room, hoping to go to the dining car and have a late night snack. As I opened the door and stepped out. I walked right into someone. "I'm so sorry," I said. How could I be so clumsy? I looked up and was face to face with the beauty that had been my obsession for the last three days. Jasper.

"Don't worry at all, ma'am. I was just coming to find you. I wanted to show you something." He took my hand and led me to the dining car. Once there he led me to a table and sat across from me. He reached behind his chair and brought out a guitar. "After you went to your room tonight, I sat here. And I wrote this song. It will show you how I feel about you. I hope you'll listen and I hope you feel the same way."

He started strumming his guitar. His beautiful voice filled the train car. I never knew he could sing. I never even knew he had a guitar. I guess there was still a lot I had to learn about this man.

_It was no accident me finding youSomeone had a hand in itLong before we ever knewNow I just can't believe you're in my lifeHeaven's smilin' down on meAs I look at you tonightI tip my hat to the keeper of the starsHe sure knew what he was doin'When he joined these two heartsI hold everythingWhen I hold you in my armsI've got all I'll ever needThanks to the keeper of the starsSoft moonlight on your face oh how you shineIt takes my breath awayJust to look into your eyesI know I don't deserve a treasure like youThere really are no wordsTo show my gratitudeSo I tip my hat to the keeper of the starsHe sure knew what he was doin'When he joined these two heartsI hold everythingWhen I hold you in my armsI've got all I'll ever needThanks to the keeper of the starsIt was no accident me finding youSomeone had a hand in itLong before we ever knew_

(lyrics from "Keeper of the stars" sung by Tracy Byrd)

I was glad there was no one else in the train car because by the end of that song, I was crying. Tears were rolling down my face like rivers of sadness. I couldn't believe how wonderful and sweet he was, as sweet as honeysuckle.

The sad part was that I couldn't be with him. How could I start a relationship with him when I had a madman after me, killing my family. If I was with Jasper, there is no telling what Matthew would do. I wanted to be with Jasper. In fact I could see us together for a long time, but I couldn't be with him. Matthew would probably kill Jasper if he ever found out. Then what would I do?

Jasper was the only one that could make me smile now. He was the only good thing in my life now. How could I live without him? If Jasper died then I would die. I couldn't be in a world without Jasper in it. That wasn't a world I wanted to live in.

How was I going to tell him that? What could I tell the man who just poured his heart out to me and told me that I was precious to him and that he thanked God for me? He had melted my heart with that song. But how was I going to tell him that I couldn't be with him? I was going to have to lie to him. I was going to have to tell him that I didn't feel the same way. This was going to be one of the hardest things I had to do in my life. I had to push him away.

"Jasper, I'm sorry I can't do this," I got out of my chair and tried to run to the door. I didn't make it though. He caught my wrist and pulled me around so I was facing him.

"What's wrong, Alice? What did I do? What can I do to make it right?" He looked terrified. He looked scared of exactly what I was about to do.

"Jasper, I'm sorry. I don't feel the same way you seem to. I can't be what you need. You need to let me go. I'm sorry." Tears started flowing from my eyes like the water through a fast moving river. They were moving so fast and I couldn't find a way to stop them. My own heart was shattering along with Jasper's. I tried to pull my hand away from him but he held firm.

The pain that flashed across Jasper's face broke my heart into more pieces. "What's going on? Why are you lying to me, Alice?" he asked me looking into my eyes, searching them.

"What are you talking about? I'm not lying to you. I don't want to be with you. That's the truth."

"I've seen it in your eyes. You feel something for me, even if you don't want to admit it. You may not love me, but you do feel something for me.

"Alice, normally I wouldn't be this forward but, I look in your eyes and I see Heaven. They're so beautiful. I love looking into your eyes. I can see us married with children, a beautiful boy and a gorgeous little girl that looks just like you. I know you have secrets and they are probably pretty serious since you haven't told me yet, but they can not be bad enough to scare me away from you. I love you, Alice.

"You are the reason I wake up in the morning. You are the reason I love music again. You are the reason I breathe. You are the reason I smile. I love you so much. Why are you pushing me away?"

He was pleading with me by the time he was finished. I was bawling my eyes out. I wrenched my hand out of his and ran. I ran all the way to my room. I hated myself for what I had done. I had just crushed the greatest man I had ever met. The things he had said to me….I couldn't even find a word to describe how wonderful those words had made me feel. No man in my life had ever said that kind of thing to me in my life.

I cried myself to sleep that night with hateful thoughts toward myself and Matthew. He had not only cost me my father and possibly my brother and mother, but now he had cost me the love of my life.

When I woke up, my face was sticky and red from all the hateful tears I had shed throughout the night. I cleaned myself up as best I could and what was left I covered with a bit of makeup. I walked out of my room and headed toward the dining car for breakfast. Like a zombie I walked toward the dining car.

I passed by other rooms and cars where people were sitting reading books and news papers. It all seemed so normal. Why couldn't my life be normal? Why couldn't I just be a normal girl who had fallen in love with a normal guy? Instead I'm a girl who has a crazy ex-boyfriend after me that has killed my father, kidnapped my mother, and tried to kill my brother. An ex-boyfriend that wants to marry me and is holding my mother hostage until I do.

My life is crazy. Why would Jasper want to be with me? That's right, because he doesn't know yet. I can't continue to lead him on like this. I have to tell him exactly what is going on in my life. I have to tell him about Matthew. Then maybe he'll save me from my guilt and just run in the other direction like I figured he would. Then maybe I would be able to deal with Matthew without worrying about Jasper.

Just as I was about to get to the dining car I heard the whistle of the train. This was not a good sign. I looked through the windows in the doors and saw my love sitting at a dining table eating his breakfast. Worry spread all over his face. My heart broke. If I could just get to him and talk to him before whatever trouble was coming got to us, my life would be alright. I would be able to talk to Jasper and he would be able to see that I wasn't the kind of woman he wanted. I had a past. I had a crazy, murderous ex-boyfriend who wanted to marry me and would stop at nothing to get me.

All of a sudden, I was thrown into the door of the car I was in. I could hear all the other passengers screaming. I looked around me and saw that people were starting to run toward the doors. Things were thrown to the floor by the sudden jerk from the train. Then the car started to fall to the side and I was thrown into the wall. For a split second I was able to look up and see that the walls of the opposite side of the car were crumbling and splintering. I got scared.

Have we been in a crash? What's going on? Is everyone going to be alright? Is Jasper alright? Is he hurt? Is he as scared as I am? With a thud the car landed, I assume, on the ground. My back immediately started hurting. I started to try to get up and go to Jasper. I was terrified for him. But I found I couldn't move. I looked down at myself to see what was keeping me in place. What I saw made me sick.

I had a piece of glass from the windows stuck into the calf of my right leg. I couldn't move my leg for fear I would be hurt worse. I was just going to have to lay here and wait for someone to find me. I saw the other passengers in the car just laying there, lifeless. Blood was everywhere. I saw a mother holding a lifeless child in her arms. I started to cry. How come I'm alive and that baby is dead?

I looked around some more and saw a man trapped under some wood. I saw someone hanging out of the window at the back of the car. All around me was horror. People were screaming and crying. People were calling out for loved ones. I was scared that I would never make it out of here. Is this to be where my life ends? Is this where we all die? I only wished I was able to tell Jasper the truth.

God, why would you do this? I was about to go tell Jasper the truth. Why would you let this happen to us? Please save my Jasper.

As the other side of the car crashed down on top of me, I felt something start running down the side of my mouth. I shakily reached a hand up to my mouth and wiped at it. I brought my hand down so I could see what it was. Red blood covered my fingers. Just before I past out, I smelled smoke. The dining car was on fire.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey my lovely readers! I have a few things to mention to you before you start reading the wonderful world of Alice/Jasper! **

**1.) I want to give a shout out to ja4ever, who gave me a wonderful review on the last chapter! THANKS A TON! Hope you enjoy this one just as much if not more! For being so awesome, you get to choose which chapte will have the first lemon. Let me know in a review which chapter you want it in ja4ever! **

**2.) If you love this story, you will love my other prject just as much. I am currently writing "Unlocked Love" with the wonderful Mistress McCarty aka Sam. It's a great love triangle. Here's the summary for it: _Most people only get a chance at true love once, but for Sam and Missy true love finds its way to them twice. Hot or cold? Love or foe? Who will they choose to turn the key to their heart? _Just go to my profile and you'll find the link.**

**3.) Over at the Wolf Pack Adventures, where I am an admin, we are having a writting contest. So all you writers, go to my prof and you'll find the link to TWPA there. Also if you jsut want to see the banners for this story, go to TWPA as well. The banners are awesome and the contests are fun. **

**4.) Please be sure to review! I love getting those alerts! **

**Now on to Alice and Jasper. You'll love this chapter but you might hate me for how I end it! *hides in corner* Just don't shoot me for it. I promise all will be answered. LOL **

Alice POV

Black. Everything was black. I loved the black though. Nothing hurt. My heart didn't hurt. I didn't worry about my family. I didn't have to worry about Jasper. There was nothing within the blackness. It felt wonderful. For the first time in weeks, I didn't have a single worry.

"So, when will she wake up, doc?" It was muffled but I think that's what I heard. It was like I was hearing it through water; like my head was under water and I was listening in on a conversation.

"It's hard to tell. Sir, she's in a coma. She could wake up right now or in years. I really can not tell you exactly. I'm sorry," someone else said.

I heard footsteps and then it felt like someone took my hand. "Come on, Alice. I need you to wake up. I can't live with out you. I need you.

"Alice, I don't know what happened between us. I thought that we were beginning a great relationship. I don't know why you would say those things you did, but if that's how you truly feel I need you to wake up and tell me, darling."

Was that Jasper? He was alive? How is that possible? I saw him in the dining car. I saw it on fire. How is he here? I thought he was burning alive.

My head started to feel light. It felt like the world was spinning. I tried to move my hand to my head but it wouldn't move. I tried to open my eyes, but I couldn't. What was wrong with me? Why was I in a coma? Would I ever see Jasper again? Would I ever be able to tell him the truth?

I wanted to cry so badly at the thought that I would never see those beautiful blue eyes ever again. The truth was I was in love with Jasper Whitlock. I, Alice McCarty, wanted to marry Jasper Whitlock. I wanted to be Alice Whitlock. I couldn't wait.

There was only one problem. I was currently in a coma. I couldn't move a single muscle. I started to fight hard. I was going to move. I was going to come out of this. I was going to find out what happened with Jasper and I was going to tell him the truth. I refused to be kept in this coma any longer. Jasper was going to be mine.

I tried small. I tried to move my feet. Slowly, I felt my toes wiggle. VICTORY! I tried to move my fingers next. Jasper's hand was still wrapped around my hand. I wanted to squeeze his to show him that I still cared. It worked. My fingers moved a little, but it was enough.

"Doctor! Doctor!" I heard him yell. I heard the door open and people come rushing into the room. Fingers pressed into my wrist. Someone pulled my eyelid up and shined a bright light into my eyes.

"Alice, can you hear me?" I assumed it was the doctor speaking to me. I couldn't answer him. Fingers grasped my hand again. "Alice, if you can hear me, can you squeeze my hand?" I moved my fingers again. "Can you open your eyes for us, Alice?"

I slowly was able to open my eyes. At first everything was fuzzy and bright. I couldn't make anything out but shapes. After a few moments, everything became clear. I could see faces. I looked around and found the one I had been wanting to see; Jasper.

He sat silently next to me as the doctor and nurses checked me over. His eyes never left mine. After they left, he grabbed my hand again and came to sit on the bed with me. A few minutes later, he still hadn't talked.

"Jasper," I whispered. My voice didn't seem to want to work for me. "What happened? How are you here?"

"Well, that's a long story."

~~Jasper's POV~~

To answer her question, I decided to start at the moment my whole world shattered.

*Flashback*

I sang my heart out to her. I had written that song for her. I expected her to run into my arms, kiss me, and confess her love for me. Instead, my heart is shattered. She said she didn't feel the same way I do. She said that I need to let her go. I didn't think I could take another breath.

Why was she saying these things to me? I had seen the looks in her eyes since we first met. She had feelings for me. I know she did. She cared for me at the very least. I would bet my paycheck that she loved me. So why would she say she didn't have nay feelings for me and I needed to move on? She wasn't making any sense at all.

I took a chance and said it plain out. I poured my heart out to her. "Alice, normally I wouldn't be this forward but, I look in your eyes and I see Heaven. They're so beautiful. I love looking into your eyes. I can see us married with children, a beautiful boy and a gorgeous little girl that looks just like you. I know you have secrets and they are probably pretty serious since you haven't told me yet, but they can not be bad enough to scare me away from you. I love you, Alice.

"You are the reason I wake up in the morning. You are the reason I love music again. You are the reason I breathe. You are the reason I smile. I love you so much. Why are you pushing me away?"

What did I get for it? What did I get for pouring my heart out to my love? She ran from me. She literally ran from me. I had to find out why she would do this. I knew she wasn't doing this by choice. There was something, or someone who was keeping her from admitting her true feelings. I vowed that I would find out, and I would find out soon.

The next morning, I woke up revitalized with the new resolve to learn more about my love and find out what was keeping her from me. I walked into the dining car and sat down with my coffee. I began to think of all the things I wanted to say to Alice this morning. I wanted to tell her that I was sorry that I came on too strong. I wanted to tell her that if she truly felt that way then I would try my hardest, but I hope we could still be friends.

What would I do if that's really all she wanted? Would I be able to handle that? Would I be able to be just friends with the love of my life? I heard the train whistle go off but didn't give it any thought. I had too much on my mind to even think about what could be going wrong. It was probably just some cows in the way or something anyways.

It wasn't long before I felt the crash. There was the sudden stop of the train and then we were thrown toward the front of the train. I was thrown out of my seat onto the floor. The table thrown on top of me, breaking some of my ribs. Dishes were broken everywhere. My coffee was all over me, burning me. Damn! My leg and face were bleeding from all the broken glass.

Before I could even get to my feet, the car tipped over. I was in shock for a moment. I didn't know what to do. Then I started to look around and see the bodies of the people who were dead. Thank God I wasn't one of them. I smelled the smoke. I knew I didn't have long to get out of there.

I stood up and climbed to the window. I had to break it with my elbow. Great now my elbow was bleeding, too. I carefully climbed out of the car. Careful not to stab my hand with the remaining glass in the window frame.

Once I was on the ground, I immediately went in search of Alice. I kept chanting "She's going to be alright" over and over in my head. I peeked in the window of the car behind mine. At first I didn't see her. I didn't know what I would do if she was dead.

Then I saw her. My heart stopped. I was happy to find her but when I saw the blood, I wasn't sure she was even alive. I ran over to where she was and began to uncover her from all the wood of the train car that was on top of her. It took me far too long to uncover her, having to baby my ribs. I was worried that if she had been alive, she wouldn't be by the time I got her uncovered.

I eventually got her released from her wooden prison, and thought that was it. That was when I saw the glass in her leg. The crash scene was swarming with ambulances and policemen, and firemen. I ran up to am ambulance worker and dragged him over to her lifeless body. "Get her to the hospital now!" I yelled at him. He and his team worked to get her on the gurney and into the ambulance.

I tried to go in the ambulance with them but one of the men stopped me. "You can't go with her, Sir."

I knew they wouldn't let me go unless I told them I was family. So I thought quick on my feet. "She's my wife. I'm going with her." It worked. I rode all the way to the hospital in the back of the ambulance, hoping that she would wake up.

~End Flashback~

I looked at her for a moment. She had tears rolling down her cheeks. The only sound in the room was the sound of her sniffles.

I couldn't take it any more. I had to have answers. I decided to start with the most pressing question on my mind. "Alice, I've given you your answers. Its time for you to give me some. Please explain this." I handed her a piece of paper. "It came for you while you were out."

She read it over. I didn't need to anymore. I had read it over and over while she had been in that coma, trying to figure out what was going on with her.

_You will marry me, Alice. You will come to Amarillo. I know you've been seeing that boy on the train. Either dump him like a wild mustang and marry me, or I will kill him like I did your father and brother._

Her eyes got wide as saucers. The tears that were already rolling down her cheeks, rolled faster. Fear was very evident in her eyes. Whoever sent this obviously was telling the truth.

"Alice, I need you to be honest with me. Who sent you that?"

It took her a few moments to answer. She took a deep breath and seemed to gather her strength. "His name is Matthew. We met a while back and I fell in love. He was so sweet to me. Until one day. We were at a festival and he hit me. He had purposed to me and when I said I needed to talk to my family about it, he hit me. Smacked me across the face."

I saw red. I wanted to fin this pussy more than I wanted to breath. This "man" had no right to live. No man should ever, under any circumstances hit a woman. There was never any excuse.

"My brother." She took a deep breath. I wondered what that was about. "My brother, Emmett, made sure I was never alone after that. It got old quick. So, I eventually got away and went to town. I just wanted to be able to walk around and talk to my friends with out anyone following me. I went home a few hours later to find my father dead from a shot in the back, my brother fighting for his life. My mother was gone. There was a note around my brother's neck telling me to go to Amarillo.

"I got a telegram from him the other day when we were going for the picnic. That was the first one. I couldn't even think that day. I'm sorry for that."

"Alice," I said grabbing her hand, "is this why you said you didn't love me the other day?"

"The other day? It was yesterday."

"No, Alice. You've been in a coma for three days." The look of absolute fear that came into her eyes scared me to death. "That telegram came for you the day of the crash. I've had three days to think about this.

"See there's something you don't know about me. My name is Jasper Whitlock but I'm also a Marshall. I couldn't tell you because I didn't want the criminals that are after me knowing where I am. I think I have come up with a plan to take care of this situation."

"I'll do anything," she said obviously becoming anxious at the idea of having all of this behind her.

"You have to keep an open mind." She nodded. "Alice, marry me."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: SO SORRRY its taken me this long to update. I had writer's block with this story for a few weeks but I think I'm over it now! :) **

**Please nominate this story for the "Major of Your Heart" Award for the Addiction Awards go to: .com/group/t Thanks so much! **

**Thanks to ja4ever, BombtasticSkittles, PrettyinBlack8 for the awesome reviews. I was laughing so hard at y'alls reviews! Thanks so much! **

**We're almost to the end of this story sadly but please don't cry just yet. I'm not done with this couple yet. I still have some drama and love in store for them! :D**

Alice POV

"Marry me, Alice," he said.

My breath hitched. I couldn't believe this had just happened to me. Did he really just purpose to me? Did he really just ask me to marry him? Was he serious?

"Jasper, you can't be serious! Didn't you listen to anything I said the other day? You need to stay away from me. I don't love you. I don't want to marry you."

"Honey, don't you understand? I'm not afraid of this Matthew character that shoots grown men in the back, and finds pleasure in threatening and scaring women. He scares me about as much as a fly. He's nothing more than an annoyance.

"Ali, I have taken down some of the worst characters in the west. Matthew won't be a bit of problem for me."

"So why do I need to marry you then?" I was starting to get confused.

"Because I want you to would be the first and most important reason. But if you need another it would just be a precaution. If you're married to me, then you can't marry him. He wouldn't have a leg to stand on in this fight. I like to think we're friends. Friends help each other and right now you need my help. I want to help you, Ali."

"Did you read this note? It says that if I continue to be with you, then he will kill you. Don't you wonder how he knows we've been seeing each other? He's probably already in Amarillo but yet he knows and has known that we've been spending time together? If he doesn't kill you, he will have someone do it for him. You must not be a very good Marshall if you can't figure that one out."

"I did figure that one out, Alice. The day you got that letter."

"That's another thing. Why would they have given it to you?"

"Because the only way I could be in here with you is if I was family. I told them we were married. Everyone here believes we are a married couple that was on our way to Amarillo to visit my family. Only part of that was a lie."

"So you're on your way to visit with your family?" Finally all the questions I had had were finally being answered. It felt good to have everything out in the open.

"Yes, my mother is ill. I don't know what is wrong but I fear she has the influenza that has been killing people." His face became downcast. He looked very sad. I was sorry instantly that I had brought this up.

"I'm sorry, Jasper. I shouldn't have brought that up." I felt horrible that I had brought so much more sadness to him. I hadn't seen him look this way the whole time we had known each other.

"It's not your fault, Ali. You didn't know. I probably should have told you all this before, but you always brought out such happiness in me. I didn't want to take that away. You've always had such a sparkle in your eye that I love. I never wanted that sparkle to leave you." As he said this he slowly ran his thumb over my cheek. I felt so many feelings as he did this. My heart soared.

"Ali?" I asked. He had called me Ali a few times now and I had to know what it was about. I couldn't believe how wonderful that one syllable made me feel. I felt so special.

"Yes. I'm sorry. I made a presumption. I didn't think you would mind." He seemed to be back pedaling. He thought I was upset about the nickname.

"No. Jasper, I don't mind at all. You can call me Ali if you wish. I kind of like it," I said as a slight blush rose to my cheeks. He got up and sat on the bed next to me. He slowly leaned over toward me. I held my breath as he got closer to me. My eyes never left his. I knew what he wanted to do and I secretly wanted it too.

His lips were centimeters from mine. He looked at my lips and then back up to my eyes, silently asking my permission. I gave the slightest of nods and noticed my hands were shaking. His lips lightly touched mine. I felt a shock run through my body at the contact. I couldn't believe Jasper was kissing me. What do I do? What do I do? I've never in my life been kissed. Matthew was never this bold. The only thing I could come up with was to kiss him back. I just copied what he did to me.

He pulled back after a few moments but not very much. "You never answered my question," he whispered.

My mind went blank. His breath flowing like a soft wind across my face made me lose every thought in my brain. "Wha….What question?"

"Will you marry me?"

"Y..Yes." I whispered back.

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, I'll marry you." His mouth found mine again in the sweetest kiss ever. I knew right then that I was making the right decision, maybe for the first time in my life. I wasn't sure how the situation with Matthew would turn out but I knew that marrying Jasper would be great.

Two days later I was finally released from the hospital and cleared to continue my travels to Amarillo. I was still worried about what I would find when I got there. Would my mother be alive? Had Matthew killed her because I was taking too long. I should be there by now but I had to stay in the hospital for four days. He could have done anything by now.

To tell you the truth, I wanted to kill Matthew myself for what he had done to me. He had killed my father, the one man who meant the most to me in my life. At the very least, he had shot Emmett, my brother, one of my only true friends. He had kidnapped and possibly killed my mother, the woman I have looked up to and learned from all my life.

Jasper and I had decided that soon after I got free, we would get married. He thought that I was marrying him just to get away from Matthew. The truth was, though, that I was in love with him. I wanted to be his wife. I wanted to birth his children. I wanted to be with him forever. Could I ever tell him this? Could I ever find it in myself to tell him the truth? At this point, I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure if I trusted myself enough to say those words; those very important words that every married couple should say to each other. I love you, Jasper.

We left from Dallas that day traveling to Wichita Falls. Along our way, we would stop and look for dresses for me to wear during our wedding. I was getting more and more excited as time went by. I finally found my dress right outside the Falls. It fit perfectly. It was pure white with full length sleeves. The bodice didn't show anything but I had hopes that Jasper would be seeing what God had blessed me with the night after our wedding.

As we walked out of the general store where I found my dress, I noticed something in Jasper's eyes. We packed my dress on the back of my horse and got back on. As we started toward the Falls again, I decided to ask him about what I had seen in his eyes. "Jasper?"

"Yes, Ali?" he asked quietly while he turned toward me in his saddle.

"Well, when we were walking out of the store back there it seemed like you were thinking about something. What was it?" I asked, nervous that he would tell me to mind my own business.

"There are some things… about my past… that you don't know about me yet." He seemed to want to leave it there. I didn't know.

"Jasper, if we're going to get married in a few hours, I think I should be able to know everything there is to know about you. I would really like to. I want to know everything there is to know about you." It was all true.

"Let's rest the horses for a bit and I'll tell you alright?" I nodded.

We found a nice meadow next to a river. It was perfect and beautiful. There were flowers everywhere. Everything was so green. I was in awe.

Jasper spread out a blanket for us to sit on and I got what little food we had out for us to eat. Once we were settled and had eaten, I turned to him. While I sat there looking at him, I couldn't help but wonder what he had been through that he felt so nervous about telling me. I could tell the only reason he was still eating was because he wasn't sure how or what to tell me, if anything.

"Ali, what I went through wasn't easy and it wasn't pretty. Please understand that. It was horrific. It changed who I am." He wouldn't look at me. That alone made me even more curious and nervous.

"You're not going to scare me away, Jasper," I said moving closer to him and boldly taking his hand in mine. "It sounds like it may be something you need to get out anyways."

He took a deep breath and blew it out forcefully. Yeah, he was really nervous about telling me. "When I was about eight years old, I would help in the stables of the Dempsey family. They were Irish and some of my family's best friends. Their son Raymond was my best friend. We would cause so much mischief together.

"Anyway, one day Raymond and I had just gotten back from running them. He had gone into the house to talk with his father about something. I was in the stables washing the horses off. All of a sudden, I heard their war cry. Indians. There was at least five of them but they didn't need many. Those Indians were fierce.

"I remember when I heard their cry, I peaked out of the stable doors and saw them. They had the paint on their faces. One had a bear paw painted on his chest. They were huge and they were fast. They were carrying torches. I knew what they were planning. I was terrified. I couldn't move.

"I watched as they circled the house with their torches. They set fire to the house and out ran the family like the bastard Indians wanted. Forgive my language." I nodded. "They circled the family and then quicker than I thought possible, the family had been sliced open by arrows. Tears were running down my cheeks at this point. I had to cover my mouth to keep from yelling out. I knew I would die to if I tried to save them or avenge their deaths. So, like a coward, I stayed hidden.

"The Indians one by one got off their horses and got out their knives. They scalped each member of the family and left. They never knew I was their.

"From that day on, I vowed that I would become the law and put people who did what those blasted Indians did in jail. I would stop the violence. I vowed I would never again get close to another human being. I would stay to myself. That is until I found you. You changed me again, Alice. You made my heart warm again. Thank you for coming into my life." He kissed me and I knew that he changed me too.


	8. Chapter 8

~~SOOOOO sorry it took me so long to get this update to y'all. I was distracted by another story and had writer's block with this one. HEY, you with the rotten tomato! PLease put that down! Please don't throw that at me. I didn't mean for it to take this long. I promise. Hopefully you will forgive me since I give you the first lemon in this chapter! YAY!~~~

Alice POV

After Jasper told me about his past, I gained more respect for him. I couldn't believe that such a young child had had to see what he had. No one should ever have to see it; especially a child. He had to see his childhood friend and his friend's family get killed in such a vicious fashion. It made me angry for the child just thinking about it.

I was able to understand Jasper more having heard his story, though. I was proud of him for the way he had handled the horror. He had decided that instead of becoming a drunkard, he would become a marshal and put people like those, who had killed the family, into jail. Instead of becoming angry, he just went inside himself and became an introvert who avoided people. Thankfully, he didn't avoid me. I would forever be thankful to God for that little bit in my life.

We traveled all the way to Childress, Texas the following day. When we got there, Jasper went in search of the preacher. It took half the day to track him down. When we finally did, Jasper explained to him that we wanted to get married right away. The preacher told him that he would be glad to marry us. I hurriedly got changed in the back room of the church.

As I stood there in my dress, I began to think about what was on the other side of that door. Jasper was my future. I knew that from the first look. I knew that I was supposed to marry him. I knew that I was meant for him. I loved him so much; more than life itself.

I knew it was fast. I knew we hadn't been together long, but my heart knew exactly what it wanted. It wanted Jasper. It was like my heart had found it's second half. I started to tear up thinking about it. Jasper had saved my life. Literally and figuratively. He had become everything to me. He was my life now.

He had come into my life at one of the worst times but had healed me. My heart was ripped apart and he put it back together. When I was broken apart by the crash, Jasper had taken me to the hospital and stayed by my side. When I thought I couldn't go on because of Matthew, Jasper was there for me. He had fixed every part of me, even those that I didn't know had been damaged. I could only pray that he felt the same way. Part of me wondered if he was only marrying me because of Matthew. I worried that Jasper didn't really love me. Would I be able to live forever with a man that didn't love me? Who didn't care as deeply for me as I did for him?

I walked out off the door and into the sanctuary of the church. There stood the preacher, his wife, and Jasper. The church was empty but for us. Jasper looked so handsome. Our children are going to look so cute! Did I really just think about mine and Jasper's children? We aren't even married yet. We haven't even had sex yet!

I stepped over to Jasper. His eyes were big and he looked like he wanted to eat me for dinner. I smiled at that thought. He smiled back at me. The preacher spoke up. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join in marriage Alice McCarty and Jasper Whitlock." He talked for a few minutes about what it meant to be married; about how God looked at marriage, about what love really was. I had to agree with him. Love was something that could never have any evil in it. Love was the one thing that had always helped me through.

It hit me at that moment, that if I had stayed with my brother that day, he might not be hurt but I wouldn't have met Jasper either. I probably would never have met Jasper if I hadn't gotten away from the watchful eyes of my family. The down side of that was that my papa had died, my brother was injured, and my mother was with one of the worst ingrates I had ever met.

Maybe once we caught up to Matthew and got Mama to safety, Jasper would arrest that dreadful man. As I listened to the preacher and looked into Jasper's eyes, I knew he would do anything I asked. If I asked him to kill Matthew, he might have a hard time with his ethics and morals, but he would do it. Then, quickly hide the body!

My eyes began to get watery as I heard the preacher say to Jasper, "Jasper Whitlock, do you promise to love, honor and cherish Alice, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, so long as you both shall live?"

Jasper looked deep into my eyes lovingly as he whispered, "Of course I do."

The tears fell over my eyes as I heard the devotion in his voice. "Alice McCarty, do you promise to love, honor and cherish Jasper in sickness and in health for richer or for poorer so long as you both shall live?"

"I do," I whispered and I felt my world start to come together. I knew that no matter what happened with Mama and Emmett everything would be alright because Jasper was in my life now. I would be sad and hurt if they weren't ok but Jasper would see me through. I knew he would. I knew, no matter what, he would be there, right there by my side through it all. He would make sure everything went the way it's supposed to. He would be my rock. He would be my strength. He would be everything I needed him to be. I was so thankful I had found him.

The preacher broke through my thoughts. "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride, Mr. Whitlock." My heart just about melted with anticipation. He slowly bent his head toward me. My heart beat faster and faster with every second that past. His lips finally touched mine.

It was like a lightening bolt went through my whole body. I couldn't believe how good his lips felt against mine. It was like they were made for mine. They fit perfectly. It made me wonder slightly what other parts of him would fit just right with mine!

When he pulled his lips away from mine, I almost groaned. I felt empty with the loss of contact. My lips felt cold with out his. I consoled myself with the thought that now that we're married, I could kiss him whenever I wanted. I would have a lifetime of kisses and hugs and maybe more!

We thanked the preacher and his wife and walked out of the church hand in hand. We walked down the steps and I thought to myself how perfect this was. This whole day had been so perfect.

From the church, we went on our way, back on the road to Amarillo. Strangely enough, it didn't kill my ecstatic mood. I was still so happy that Jasper and I were husband and wife. Finally.

As we were riding our horses along the path, Jasper all of a sudden grabbed the reins of my horse and started pulling us off the path to a nearby cave. I gave him a confused look. "Storm coming," is all he said to me.

After we took care of the horses; got them fed and watered for the night, we got our bags off them and walked into the cave. My nerves were suddenly really high. I was shaking. I was a virgin and this was my wedding night. My mother, red faced and stuttering, had told me once what was expected of a woman on her wedding night. I knew what was about to happen. I knew what he expected of me, but I wasn't so sure right then if I was going to be able to please him.

He turned around and saw the look on my face. I'm sure he could read me like a book. I'm sure he could see how terrified I was of what was to come. My hands were shaking as I dropped my bag on the floor of the cave. Jasper looked into my eyes. I think he was trying to reassure me with the blue oceans that were his eyes.

He leaned against the wall of the cave and just stared at me. He was waiting for me to make the first move. It was evident in the way he wasn't moving or even saying anything. He could see how scared I was and didn't want to do anything that would scare me more.

After a while of just standing there staring at each other, I decided that if I wanted to please my husband, then I needed to act. I gathered the strength I had and took a deep breath. As I stepped toward him, I was sure that he thought I was having convulsions because my whole body was shaking so hard. I took a very slow step toward him and stopped. Suddenly I was more nervous than before. I decided that maybe I needed to just push everything aside and get this over with as fast as possible. If my body caused the same reactions within him that his did with me, then the best way to handle this was to just start taking off my clothes.

I started with the zipper of my dress. I slowly reached behind me, and carefully and painstakingly slow pulled the zipper down toward my waist. As it reached the bottom of the zipper, I pulled the shoulders of the dress down. I heard his intake of breath but could not see any other reaction from him. Was he affected at all? I put the thought out of my mind. If I continued that line of thought, I would lose my nerve to finish this task of seducing my husband. I don't think I would ever get used to having a husband.

I pulled the dress down and it pooled at my feet. I watched Jasper as it fell. His hands that were at his sides fisted. His pants got a little tighter. His face showed no reaction though. So I wasn't sure what to make of his pants or his hands.

He took a step toward me. "Do you know how beautiful you are to me? Do you know how much you mean to me?" he asked while he took extra slow steps toward me. I shook my head.

"I only know how much you mean to me. You saved me, Jasper. You put me back together, when I don't believe anyone else could have. All I wanted to do was die and you helped me step back from that ledge." I took a deep breath.

"You are the reason my life is what it is now. You are the reason I am who I am today. You saved me from myself when I didn't even realize I needed to be saved." He was standing a foot away from me now. My heart rate accelerated. He put his hands on my shoulders and lowered his face to mine and rested his forehead on mine. "Thank you for saving me, Alice. I will forever love you." His lips crashed down on mine and all nervousness was gone.

My hands found their way into his hair and grabbed fistfuls of it, pushing his lips harder onto mine. He took his hands and started undoing my under garments. Soon I was naked. He stepped back and took me in. I started to blush and placed my hands on my breasts, trying to conceal what little I could.

He took my hands and placed them at my sides. "Have I told you how beautiful you are?" A small smile found its way onto my lips. I nodded shyly, looking at the floor. "Well you are. You're absolutely gorgeous. I'm so glad you're mine."

His lips found mine again. They weren't forceful and they weren't too soft. It was the perfect combination. He was so sweet. I could tell he was willing to take things at my pace. The speed I needed them to be.

I don't know where it came from but suddenly I found my strength and the vixen inside me. I started unbuttoning his shirt. He grabbed my hands and looked into my eyes. "Are you sure? I can do it if you would like."

I shook my head at him and went back to my task. I finished with the buttons and freed him of the shirt. I looked at him and couldn't believe what I saw. His body was magnificent. He had perfectly sculpted abdominal muscles. His whole upper body was muscles. I don't know how he managed it but he looked wonderful. I was starting to get hot.

Something was happening to my body. I wasn't sure what it was. I felt a tightening in my stomach. I felt my panties get wet. I was sure I was about to explode if I didn't get my hands on that body. I raised my hands and put them on his chest. I traced every muscle he had. They made their way down to his waist line and unbuttoned his pants.

"Let me do this part. I'm not sure I'd be able to keep myself off you if I didn't," he said pushing my hands away. I let him this time. I was sure I would want to see this part. I watched as he pushed his pants and long underwear down around his ankles.

The sight before me shook me to my core. That was supposed to fit inside me? How? How was that going to work? He's huge!

He looked back at me with my wide eyes and smiled. "It's alright, honey. I promise you. I won't hurt you." He softly placed his lips on mine and all my worries went away with the wind.

I felt myself being lowered on to a blanket on the floor of the cave. I felt him align himself with my entrance. I felt his tip poke me. I looked into his eyes and saw all the gentleness and love that I needed at that moment to take away all my fears.

He just laid there for a few minutes kissing my lips and then moving to my neck. I never felt anything like it when he put his lips on my neck. It was the best feeling I have ever felt. I knew if I didn't start taking a bit of control, he would take forever. So I lifted my hips and he slid inside me. Had I thought his lips on my neck felt good. When he slid inside me, it was like electroshock therapy. Dozens of lightening bolts wet off inside my head. But he was holding himself back. He wasn't letting himself go all the way inside me. "Jasper, what's wrong?" I asked him in a whisper.

"I don't want to hurt you. It'll hurt if I go any further." That's when I remembered something else that my mama told me about the wedding night.

I quickly thrust my hips up. The pain hurt but it was a good hurt. It excited me. Jasper waited a few moments for the pain to subside and then started to move in and out of me. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do but my legs had a mind of their own, it seemed. They stretched up and wrapped around his waist.

Ecstasy. Pure ecstasy. That's the only way I can describe how it felt. My body started to shake lightly but not from nerves this time. This time it was from excitement. Fulfillment.

After a few more moments, I felt Jasper spill his seed inside of me. He laid himself down next to me and I cuddle up to his side. "That's not exactly how I planned on our first time being."

My heart dropped. I wasn't good enough. I hadn't pleased him. A single tear slipped out and onto his chest. He leaned up and looked down at me. "What's wrong, Darlin'?"

"I wasn't good enough, was I? I didn't please you. I'm so sorry. Please give me another chance to learn how to please you," I rushed to say as more tears slid down my cheek.

"What? Honey, what I meant was that I hadn't planned on our first time together being in a cave. You were wonderful. Trust me. You were great. And, Darlin?" I looked into his eyes. "I plan on us having many more chances."


End file.
